Friendship and Justice

Introduction and Overview

Welcome to this week’s formal introduction and review of the retreat Friendship and Justice is hosting on Salesian Spirituality! What we hope to cover in this session is: a) why we chose to start with the spirituality of Francis de Sales, b) background on him, as he will be our “Retreat Guide”, and c) an overall outline of how the retreat will be conducted.

Why Francis de Sales and his Spirituality?
We decided to begin with Salesian spirituality, as it is one of the first modern lay spiritualities developed in the Church. De Sales wanted to insure and assure every Catholic that they could live an intense spiritual life in the world – no matter their career or lifestyle status (single or partnered; dating or widowed). De Sales both anticipated and initiated the focus and direction of Vatican II on the universal call of holiness and the role of the laity in the church and society. De Sales wished to give a practical approach to what being a disciple means in the midst of the community in which one lives. He would very much endorse and promote what Vatican II promoted in the Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity:

"Since it is proper to the layperson’s state in life for them to spend their days in the midst of the world and of secular transactions, they are called by God to burn with the spirit of Christ and to exercise their apostolate in the world as a kind of leaven (n.2)."

De Sales sought to teach a lifestyle that nourished the spirit of Christ in the laity so they could be leaven in every aspect of their lives. The Introduction to the Devout Life is really a disciple’s manual on how to be Christ in the world and how to discover Christ in the world. De Sales was not just a dreamer or thinker only, he sought to practically translate what discipleship and a call to holiness looked like for lay people.

De Sales focused on praying over the life of Christ and seeing what was core to his call to be disciples, so one could develop a lifestyle rhythm, which would enflesh such a call. He did this by focusing on the practice of certain virtues, the role and promotion of deep friendships, learning how to live in the presence of a loving God; seeking the will of such a loving God in the details of one’s everyday life; practicing gentleness with everyone and a deep love of creation which provides it’s own unique insight to the Creator.

We feel that De Sales is an excellent guide to assist us as LGBT Catholics on how to live a rich spiritual life and be leaven in our own community and in the larger society in which we live and work.

Who is Francis De Sales?
Francis De Sales is a very fascinating person with an appealing personality. He appealed to a diverse array of people in his own time and continues to do so even in our own time. He has a lot to say to us today as LGBT Catholics, because he lived in a very turbulent time and a period in which society and church were in conflict and polarized. His life dates from 1567-1622. He was educated by the Jesuits and greatly influenced by their spirituality. He lived during the decades following the Reformation. He was the bishop of Geneva, which was the center of the Reformed Church organized by John Calvin. As a result he did not live in Geneva. However, he related well to both Protestants and Catholics. He was a very pastoral person. He was also an innovator, seeking to renew the Church though the best of its tradition. He co-founded with St. Frances de Chantal, the Visitation Order, which has a monastery here in St. Louis. His two most famous books are The Introduction to the Devout Life and the Treatise on the Love of God. His books are a rich integration of the spiritual teachings of St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits and St. Teresa of Avila, foundress of the Discalced Carmelites, who also have a monastery here in St. Louis.

How is the retreat organized?
Our retreat on Salesian spirituality will be in 2 parts. Part One, will be based on The Introduction to the Devout Life. We will use it as a manual for LGBT discipleship. The focus of this part of the retreat will be developing a prayer life and an approach for living discipleship and what it entails in the setting of the jobs we have, the friendships we treasure, and the community in which we belong and love. This part of the retreat will go from the beginning of Advent to the early part of the Christmas Season.

Part Two of the retreat will begin after a short break, on the Baptism of the Lord and go through the weeks leading up to Ash Wednesday. This part of the retreat will be based on the Treatise of the Love of God seen as a Lover’s manual. It builds on Part One. After working to develop and enrich our prayer life and seeking to lead a disciple’s lifestyle, we will seek to discover in ever-deeper ways God’s intense affection and delight in us. This in turn will deepen our love and affection for the One who cherishes us and desires our attention.

We look forward to beginning the journey together next week with the beginning of Advent. See you then!

Happy New Year! Huh? It’s not even Christmas yet. Yah, tell that to the retailers who’ve been pushing Christmas since at least October. No, I’m not talking about the great American craziness called New Year’s Eve. I’m referring to the official Church New Year that begins today - The First Sunday of Advent. There are many things that I don’t agree with that the Catholic Church does, and has done, but this is one I not only agree with, but am grateful for. The Church calendar sets aside this time of Advent (coming, arrival) to encourage us to take time in these days leading up to the Feast of Christmas to stop and breathe amid the often frenzied preparations that are certainly more secular than spiritual. We can become so taken up with the social and material activities that seem so necessary during this time that we completely miss the spiritual aspects. For the past several years, I’ve talked with friends and family about how they feel about the way we prepare and celebrate Christmas. The vast majority find this time to be exhausting and spiritually arid. They would like to change that, but don’t know where or how to begin. I realize that most folks can’t take the time to spend these days in a mountain cave or a cabin in the woods. We do after all have to still go to school or work, pay our bills, feed the dogs and cats. And, unless you’re a hermit, you have to interact with family, friends, co-workers, and the people you encounter every day. I know I can’t avoid those things and the fact is I wouldn’t want to because I enjoy many aspects of our traditional Christmas. I look forward to cookie baking day with my friends Mary Beth and Kristi. I enjoy putting up the tree and decorating it with my partner, Mary Ann.

I am excited about this online retreat because I hope that it will be a place of refuge from the whirlwind of Christmas - American Style. For my part, it will challenge me to stop and spend time, without the noise, haste, fuss, and the to-do that have already begun to make me feel overwhelmed. The most important thing to know about this retreat is that it will only work if everyone who signs on participates. This isn’t about being preached at or lectured to. It is about you sharing your thoughts, ideas, insights, and responses to other participants input. I’m going to be referring to Saint Francis De Sales in coming sessions. You may wonder what a man who died over 500 years ago has to say that would mean anything to us in 2009. Like all great spiritual thinkers, his message is timeless and universal, catholic if you will. What you will realize, as you read some of his writings, is that the world hasn’t really changed a lot when it comes to the everyday struggles to live and work and make our spiritual life as real and completely a part of who we are as our heartbeat.

So, I’m going to give you a little homework to get you started in this New Year Advent Season. You don’t have to answer these questions all at once - in fact, I would encourage you to only think about one or two each day:

What are your seeking by joining this Retreat?
What would you like to achieve spiritually during these weeks?
What is the meaning of Christmas for you?
Where do you need to rebirth Jesus in your life?
Who is Jesus beyond a baby born over 2000 years ago?
How do I become the reality of Christ living in the here and now?
What can I change about the way I approach the Christmas Feast?

Please take the time during these coming weeks to come here often and interact with others in our community. Take the time to be truly present to God and listen to what God has to say to you. Take the time even in the midst of your busy life to be aware of God’s presence.

I pray that this will be an enriching time for all of us and for our wider community. Please feel free to contact me through this blog or at - ruah0765@sbcglobal.net.

Advent Blessings,

Sylvia Squires

When I say the words “devout life” in my head I immediately have a picture that pops up. I can see the two men described by Jesus in the parable about the saint and the sinner. Anyway that’s my title for it. In the story we have two men who enter the temple. One is dressed in fine clothes and is obviously wealthy and very prosperous. He moves past those standing toward the back of the sanctuary and proceeds to pray out loud declaring his righteousness (devoutness) for all to hear. At the same time a man who is obviously poor enters through the same door. He stays in the area near the doors, back in the shadows. His clothes are dirty and ragged his hair is uncared for. As he stands he bows almost to the floor and pulls at his beard swaying to some inner pain. He says nothing out loud but to God and himself declares his sinfulness and poverty of soul. He repeatedly hits his chest with his fist crying within his heart that he is not even worthy to be in this holy place. In the scripture story Jesus asks his hearers, “Who is indeed the one who is truly holy?”

In the “Introduction to the Devout life,” Francis De Sales wrote, “ … devotion is simply a spiritual activity and liveliness by means of which Divine Love works in us, and causes us to work briskly and lovingly; and just as charity leads us to a general practice of all God’s commandments. So devotion leads us to practice them readily and diligently. A person must be filled with love, and to be devout, that person must further be very ready and apt to perform deeds of love.”

While the language is somewhat archaic the message is absolutely clear, and often one we don’t want to hear. Francis repeats throughout the “Introduction” that it is not enough to obey the Commandments, participate in the Sacraments, and be involved in private and public devotions. All of those things are good but without the willingness to forgo the fulfillment of our own wants and desires in order to serve others they are hollow.

How can we translate those ideas to our lives today? My answer to that is in a quote from Nelson Mandela’s 1994 inaugural speech; “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us; its in everyone. As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This quote is something I read every morning to remind me of my real call to holiness. Francis De Sales and Nelson Mandela may speak in different cadences but their message is the same ,we are called to be all that God has created us to be and to live not with the “fear of the Lord” but the joy of being fully who we are called to be. In this season of giving it would be a good time to look into our hearts and minds to see where we have blocked the expression of the gifts that God has given us.

A couple of things to think about: What are the gifts that are within me that I have kept in the shadows out of fear? What can I do in this Advent journey to liberate myself from fear? Who do I need to reach out to in love and forgiveness - don’t forget to include yourself in that - ?

Let your light shine before all so that the world will see it and praise God. Sylvia Squires

Isn’t it amazing how nature can effect our moods and feelings. This week was a good example. Sure we expect cold weather in December but we had had several weeks of fairly mild weather and suddenly it felt like we had been transported to Canada. The wind came ripping in and the clouds gathered. I watched several robins that had taken up housekeeping in our backyard looking rather frenzied. I think they suddenly realized that they really should have headed south several weeks ago. Certainly the journey would have been easier back in November when the weather was still relatively calm.

I noticed several humans who had obviously been surprised by the dramatic weather change. They were trying to make due with very inadequate jackets and looked half frozen and very miserable. I find myself reluctant to go out and about when I hear the wind whipping around the house. I used to be rather intrepid in my long ago youth; cold weather was just an invitation to hours of ice-skating or the thrill of trying to cross a frozen river - would I make it? I almost didn’t once but it didn’t keep me from trying again.

As we get older we tend to make our decisions with a lot more circumspection based on experience. Some people call it wisdom. Time and experience do tend to teach us certain truths about life and hopefully we develop more “Common" sense.

So what does all that have to do with Francis de Sales and the devout life? To me it has everything to do with it. The thing Francis stressed constantly in his writing was that living a devout life is not about doing anything extraordinary, it is about the way we live and deal with our everyday lives; the work we do, the people we interact with, how we feel physically, those unexpected changes that interrupt and disrupt our plans. That is where Francis keeps pointing out the very ordinariness of living a devout life.

Its really his main theme; we are not all called to spend our lives in silent cloisters praying (tho’ there days when that sounds pretty good), most of us are called to live in the hurly-burly, constantly changing, unpredictable and often challenging world while maintaining an attitude of mind and spirit that is focused on God. That’s not easy to do. With the best of intentions its easy to get pulled into anxiety and even fear when we get thrown a curve-ball.

How do we stay in that attitude of presence to God when we have to deal with storms, crazy drivers, rude strangers and even your best friend having a bad day? I think the Buddhist principle of “Mindfulness” is the key here. When we move through our days with a constant sense of being present to everyone and everything we meet, of being mindful of our relationship and how our behavior effects everything around us, we slow down and breathe and in our very breathing we encounter God in the everyday actions of our lives. What Francis de Sales calls devotion or devoutness is really about awareness, mindfulness, to the world we are living in in every minute of our lives.

So what would Francis say if he came and sat down next to you at the end of the day? I think he would give you a fatherly pat on the arm and say, “relax child, you’ve lived well this day. Not perfectly mind you but with a good heart and that is enough for any day.”

Some things to think about;

What would Francis say to you?
What is God telling you in this time and place?
Are you truly listening?

Take time this week to make a place of quiet and stillness at the end of each day. Be mindful of where you are and who you are and where God is as you move through your days.

Nameste, Sylvia

My partner, Mary Ann has memory problems as a result of seizures and brain surgery. She forgets little things like the fact that the reading lamp by her chair has three levels of power, 50, 100, and 150. Consequently I often find her straining to read the newspaper by the lowest light and complaining that we need to get better lights. I remind her that there is more power available and she turns up the light and is amazed at how much better she can see.

She has an excuse for forgetting but how many of us go around straining to see when all we need to do is look for the light. Sometimes the light is external but a good deal of the time it is a switch that we need to find inside, the one that gets obscured by worry, fear, fretting, and anxiety.

During this holiday time many people find themselves feeling like they are out of the loop. Aren’t we supposed to be jingle belling all the way? Often we feel this way because we have an expectation that as Christmas Eve draws close we will feel that excitement we felt as children. When that doesn’t happen we feel like we should feel happier. We wait for something to happen that will bring us out of the darker corners of our spirit.

Francis deSales talks often about the need to go within ourselves, to spend time in prayer and meditation. He also talks about sadness and depression and the effect it has on our spirits and our relationship with God. His remedy for those conditions is prayer. Sound simplistic? It is simple but not simplistic. Much of our society tells us that if you drink enough, eat enough, dance hard enough, have enough toys you’ll be happy. So if you’re not happy what’s the solution- more, more of everything until you can’t get through all the "stuff" that’s cluttering up your mind, heart, and spirit.

Francis’ seemingly simplistic prescription begins with the simple application of light. You have to look into all those corners to see all that stuff that is dragging you down. That’s what this Advent time is meant to help you to do, turn up the lights, clear out some of the stuff, and then find an island of calm and peace within yourself where you can see past those feelings to reach out to God. God is there but too often we can’t see God because we’re stumbling around in the half light or even the darkness. Maybe at this point you are thinking, “Yah, sure I’ve tried all that and it just doesn’t work for me.” Well maybe it isn’t about trying but about letting go and being quiet long enough to hear God.

Scripture says, “The light shone in the darkness and the darkness grasped it not.” The light still shines in the muddle and mess we call modern life but it is often obscured by what we think we need, what we think will bring us joy, contentment, happiness, and a feeling of completeness. Francis tells us that those things will never be a part of our lives if we are relying on the things of this world to supply them. Only God can bring us to that kind of wholeness.

So as Advent winds down into Christmas Eve take the time this week to stop looking at the flash and glitter outside and turn the light up inside to see the beauty that is already there waiting for you to see it . You are the best gift you’ve ever been given - cherish it, live it, embrace it, and let it go to bring light to the world around you. In the process you will open yourself up to real joy.

Some things to think about:

What is your heart really yearning for this Christmas?
Who and what could fill that yearning?
As you look into the Manger what do you see?

A joyous, blessed truly holy Christmas to each and all, Sylvia

Next: Retreat Part II